Calling in sick 15 weird excuses By Justin Thompson

It's that time of year when the weather gets colder and people start missing work because of illness.
Or because of bats in the hair. Or deer bites. Or from back injuries sustained while chasing a beaver. Yep, these were just some of the excuses people used when calling in to their boss to say that they'd be out for the day.

In our annual survey, one-third of employers reported that workers call in sick more often during the winter holidays than any other time of the year. While cold and flu season has much to do with the abundance of absences, some people are using up those sick days to spend more time with their families, get in some last-minute shopping or just relax in bed when the weather outside looks too bleak to even deal with.


Twenty-nine percent of workers admitted to playing hooky this year, citing errands and plans with family or friends among their top reasons for calling in sick. But check out these fifteen weird excuses that people used to miss work. I'm not sure how anyone even pulled these off without busting out in laughter...

• Employee's 12-year-old daughter stole his car and he had no other way to work. Employee didn't want to report it to the police.
• Employee said bats got in her hair.
• Employee said a refrigerator fell on him.
• Employee was in line at a coffee shop when a truck carrying flour backed up and dumped the flour into her convertible.
• Employee said a deer bit him during hunting season.
• Employee ate too much at a party.
• Employee fell out of bed and broke his nose.
• Employee got a cold from a puppy.
• Employee's child stuck a mint up his nose and had to go to the ER to remove it.
• Employee hurt his back chasing a beaver.
• Employee got his toe caught in a vent cover.
• Employee had a headache after going to too many garage sales.
• Employee's brother-in-law was kidnapped by a drug cartel while in Mexico.
• Employee drank anti-freeze by mistake and had to go to the hospital.
• Employee was at a bowling alley and a bucket filled with water (due to a leak) crashed through the ceiling and hit her on the head.

***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE! Coaching is available through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support. Are you prepared to navigate the current job market?

If you would like to increase your chances and give yourself a real chance to win the next position.

Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information! 630-571-6025

Can you fill out our application?

We have an online application, and we have just implemented a new system that takes information from this application for paychecks as well.

After you applied for our job, we send out the link to the candidate. In the return email,  we got nothing filled out and this statement.

Sent: Thursday, August 25, 2011 2:12 PM
To: Recruiter
Please if there is any missing information in online application you will find the information inside the resume which is already attached online.

Really??

Thank you for following direction.  Make us do extra work for you.  Let me get right to it after I talk to the other 125 people that followed directions.

…and that’s why your unemployed!


***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE! Coaching is available through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support. Are you prepared to navigate the current job market?

If you would like to increase your chances and give yourself a real chance to win the next position.

Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information! 630-571-6025

A little focus please

I had a person referred to me, I asked who referred him to me. He says,  "I can’t remember."  

I said, "Well, send me a resume and let me know who referred you."  As I am ready to give him my email address I realized he is driving.  I asked,  Are you driving?" And he said,  "Yes." I asked him, "How are you going to take down my information?"  I get an "OH."  I told him to call me back. 

He calls back an hour later, with the crying baby in the background.  I gave him my email address.  He called back later to see if I got it.  This time with music playing loudly in the background. 

I said,  "Are you in a bar?"  He replied, "No just have the music up." 

Now he called me, so he had the opportunity to turn down the music before he called. 

I had to give him the information again, because he wrote it down wrong when taking care of the baby, again his choice to call me then.

I just got his email. 

"I spoke to you earlier this week about employment, here is my resume. Thank you."

No resume attached. 


What was his intent?
Dennis


***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE! Coaching is available through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support. Are you prepared to navigate the current job market?

If you would like to increase your chances and give yourself a real chance to win the next position.

Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information! 630-571-6025

Employers May Give Out Bad References about Former Employees

Surprise! Illinois Employers May Give Out Bad References about Former Employees!

Wessels Sherman

July 2011

Yes, under Illinois law, an employer can give out negative information about a former employee in a job reference (as long as the information that the employer gives is truthful and related to the employee's job performance). For example, an Illinois employer may say that an employee was fired by the company because this is a truthful statement and related to the employee's job performance. Illinois has a "pro-employer" law called the Employment Record Disclosure Act (it became effective June 13, 1996) under which employers are provided some measure of protection from civil actions if the employer provides truthful performance related information about an employee or a former employee in response to an employment reference inquiry. The employer may provide both truthful written or verbal information under this law. The law also provides some protection when the employer gives information that it believes in good faith is truthful. The presumption of good faith for employers or ex-employers established under this law may be "rebutted" by a "preponderance of evidence" that the information was knowingly false. Despite this law (which only operates as a defense to an employer and cannot prevent a lawsuit for defamation), many companies in Illinois have a neutral reference policy whereby they only provide the ex-employee's dates of employment, job title and job duties. Nothing more. Employers in Illinois should be extremely careful if they decide to give negative references on a past employee. Employers should be certain that the information it is disclosing is truthful, strictly related to the unsatisfactory job performance in question, and can be substantiated by the former employee's personnel file. If an Illinois employer receives a telephone call from an individual seeking a job reference on a past employee, the safest route is to simply say "I'm sorry but our company has a policy of only giving very restricted neutral reference information. So, all we can tell you is the individual's dates of employment (i.e., date of hire and date of separation), job title, and job duties. That is all we can share." Even if the caller tries to put pressure on the company for more information about the ex-employee, stick to your guns and just repeat that the company has a policy of neutral references. Some employers actually want to give positive references on ex-employees. This course of action is usually fine, but it does entail a certain amount of legal risk in that there have been lawsuits for "negligent referral." In negligent referral cases, a company sues a prior employer for inducing the company (via positive referral) to hire an individual who turns out to be very unsatisfactory in one way or another.

***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE! Coaching is available through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support. Are you prepared to navigate the current job market?

If you would like to increase your chances and give yourself a real chance to win the next position.

Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information! 630-571-6025

Finally got "Mines"

I have qualification that represents me as an eligible candidate for this position. 

Also had an experience, which I can use for company's growth. 

During my work experience, I have an ability to meet demands and objectives of the company. 

The plus points of mines are my ability to multi-task, secretarial, event planning,, child care (former volunteer at day camps for Chicago Park District), as well as register in IL nurse aid registry. 

I have my own transportation and insured. 

Experience and able to handling copying of contracts and other documents e-mail answering, interacting/greeting (communication) with customer, and also handling the extra work (running errands) from the company. 

From Dennis - Taken from today's resume and cover letter of the day!


***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE! Coaching is available through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support. Are you prepared to navigate the current job market?

If you would like to increase your chances and give yourself a real chance to win the next position.

Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information! 630-571-6025

The paper is not the person

Well, you might have read my blog from a couple weeks ago of us reflecting a resume that was almost completely phonically written.

With a bit of tweaking and improvement on the resume, (thank you Kim), that person is working for me right now. He is doing a good job and is now enhancing his life.

It was his paper, not him, holding him back.

What’s holding you back? Give me a call, if your in need of a change.

Dennis

***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE!

Coaching is available through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support. Are you prepared to navigate the current job market?

If you would like to increase your chances and give yourself a real chance to win the next position.

Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information! 630-571-6025

Ponder this

***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE!

Coaching is available through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support. Are you prepared to navigate the current job market?

If you would like to increase your chances and give yourself a real chance to win the next position.

Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information! 630-571-6025

Fo-netic Spelling on Resume

We, here at Apvantage, and Jobco Staffing Professionals received a resume this morning, that I wanted to share with you.

I believe he was trying to spell it phonetically.

Employment History

wearhouse
Company XXX
Citygrunee il
State/provinceil
CountryUSA
Start date01/01/2008
End date07/01/2008
Descriptionsheeping and reseving and packing


cook/castumer serves
CompanyXXX
Citygurnee
State/provinceil
CountryUSA
Start date08/01/2006
End datePresently employed
Descriptionworking with people and attending too all there needs kepping up with orders and team work dressing and cooking orders doing the trucks act.


CompanyXXX

Deli
Citymundilean
State/provinceil
Descriptionworking with people helping custumers too find wht they lookibng for facing prodect putting prodect ovey from the truck

Companys XXX
Citygurnee
State/province il
working with customers and taking pichers


Academic Background
college off lake
Major or programnusing
Citygresslaky
State/province il
hight school Major or programNot specifiedCityround lakeState/province il

How would you respond to this person?

Dennis

***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE!Coaching is available through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support. Are you prepared to navigate the current job market? If you would like to increase your chances and give yourself a real chance to win the next position. I have developed a simple easy to use and affordable product http://www.mypocketapplication.com/Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information!630-571-6025

R U Hiring

Guess I will have to learn to accept "R U Hiring?"

The Oxford English Dictionary on Thursday added abbreviations popularly used in electronic communication; including OMG and LOL, as part of the official lexicon.

These words or slang will join other entries of this sort such as IMHO (‘in my humble opinion’), TMI (‘too much information’) and BFF (‘best friends forever’) among others.

"The initialisms are quicker to type than the full forms, and in the case of text messages, or Twitter they help say more in media where there is a limit to a number of characters," Oxford English Dictionary said in a statement.

OMG is the abbreviation for Oh My God and LOL is Laugh Out Loud. For Your Information or FYI also joins ‘muffin top’ - referring to "a protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers."

Readers looking up the word "heart" will also find the symbol listed as an entirely new usage, as a verb meaning "to love" such as I (heart) New York.

The Oxford English Dictionary decided to add these words after its research revealed that the word ‘OMG’ was first used is a personal letter in 1917, while LOL was used way back in 1960 to denote an elderly woman or ‘little old lady’.

The research said that FYI had a common historical use, originating in the language of memoranda in 1941.

Dennis (SMH)


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Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information! 630-571-6025

Not Getting The Skills in school

Fifty-six percent of those polled in a Workplace Options survey feel that more than a quarter of the nation’s youth do not have the skills to be prepared to work, and 21% feel that more than half the nation’s youth don’t possess the skill sets to be workforce-ready.

More than 70% of the general public believe K-12 or higher education plays a key role in preparing youth for work, and only 3% believe employers have the most responsibility to prepare young people for work, the survey found.

Sixty-eight percent feel that young people with a high school diploma are not prepared to work, whereas 35% express the same concern for young people with college degrees.

According to the general public, young people are lacking the following skills:

. Professionalism (37%)
. Critical thinking and problem-solving skills (19%)
. Basic skills (writing, reading and math) (16%)
. Communication skills (written and oral) (15%)
. Creativity (5%)

“Our nation’s businesses and communities must step up to the plate to help prepare our youth for entering the workplace with the right skills and competencies for tomorrow’s success,” comments Workplace Options CEO Dean Debnam. “Effective partnerships with businesses, state and local leaders, education systems and communities will help produce a competitive workforce and enable these young people to realize their full potential.”

SIReview – February 2011


***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE!Coaching is available so that I will teach you the skills you need to land the right job through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support.

Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information!630-571-6025

Mommy pretends to be Daughter to get job

Yes. Straight from my recruiter this morning. Another fun and telling example of what we really see and hear every day!

Mother Hen?

It is your kid. You want to be helpful. You have more knowledge and work experience so you figure you will help distribute your daughters resume.

Here are some helpful tips to make sure, your daughter gets the job and you don’t get fired from yours.

Create an email account with your daughter’s name – it is easy. Try Gmail, Yahoo or AOL.

Respond to emails with your daughter’s name not yours.

STOP using your corporate email to distribute your daughter’s resume.

You’re asking to get fired.

You might not want to include your LinkedIn account, on your email.

• The (daughters) resume says you need part time while out of college.
• Your LinkedIn says you are working for a large company.

If your daughter is proficient at Microsoft Office, have her prove it by creating and responding to her own emails.

It’s time to let them do things on their own, they will fail they will fall and they will learn.

I am just curious if I call for an interview, who will take the call? If it is important for your child to find work, they will.

Does the daughter really even want to work?

Dennis


***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE!Coaching is available through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support. Are you prepared to navigate the current job market? If you would like to increase your chances and give yourself a real chance to win the next position. I have developed a simple easy to use and affordable product http://www.mypocketapplication.com/Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information!630-571-6025

It's Monday choose to be inspired

This video is a from my client, Walgreens.

In my line of work, it becomes easy to focus on the people that don't seem to want to work or make the effort, however, I have seen so many people that I have employed get that opportunity and make a difference.

This is just a reminder of people wanting that opportunity, and getting it.

Dennis

***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE!Coaching is available through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support. Are you prepared to navigate the current job market? If you would like to increase your chances and give yourself a real chance to win the next position. I have developed a simple easy to use and affordable product http://www.mypocketapplication.com/

Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more 630-571-6025

Now Hiring

Home Depot will be hiring 2,000 seasonal workers in the Chicago area in advance of what the Atlanta-based retailer calls its “Spring Black Friday.”

Home Depot has about 60 stores in Chicago and the suburbs. The addition of the seasonal workers will help free up regular store associates to wait on customers, but the seasonal employees will be trained on customer service, basic product knowledge and where to find items in the store.

The 2,000 seasonal workers in Chicago are part of the retailer’s plans to hire more than 60,000 such employees nationwide for spring, which is the busiest time for the home improvement industry.

Home Depot will be training the new workers during February and March, then inaugurating the season with a series of kick-off weekends called “Spring Black Friday” that will feature doorbuster deals, similar to what retailers offer on the Friday after Thanksgiving.

The company said it will be holding four kick-off events in March and April on a market-by-market basis. It is not announcing the specific dates for each area ahead of time.

Candidates can apply online at Home Depot’s Web site or through kiosks at their local stores.

If you would like to increase your chances to earn one of these positions, and give yourself a real chance to win the next position. I have developed http://www.mypocketapplication.com/

Visit now!

Comedy or Real Life?

Got a call this morning;

"Hello I talked to someone yesterday."

And I asked, "Who did you speak to?"

She replied, "I don't know some lady, she said to send my resume and wanted to see if you got it."

I continued, "Who did you send it to?"

She replied, "I don't remember, it was on the web site."


It reminded me of this scene in Step Brothers (2008), figured if I don't laugh at my job, I might start crying considering how many people just don't get that a few key pieces of proper career communication can help them get a new position.

Dennis

Step Brothers Property of Sony - No Copyright Infringement intended

***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE!Coaching is available through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support. Are you prepared to navigate the current job market? If you would like to increase your chances and give yourself a real chance to win the next position. I have developed a simple easy to use and affordable product http://www.mypocketapplication.com/Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information!630-571-6025

How much do you charge?

I got a call from an old friend that was recently laid off. He found out that I run a staffing firm.

His first question is how much does it cost me to sign up? I responded nothing!! Then I was curious to find out why he had that question.

I find that the first few companies that he talked to and of course went into interview with told him how he would need to pay them money up front to have them help redesign his resume, and help him find a new position. The figure that he talked about was in the thousands.

I explained to him how working with staffing and placement firms, that they work with the client for compensation not the candidate.

Firms like mine, Jobco Staffing Professionals, looks for people to submit resume, NO CHARGE, and find good job matches. These matches might be for short term projects, sometimes longer term and many positions have the opportunity to turn into careers with the client.

If your not working, working with us will give you the chance to show your skills to new clients, give you new environments to work with, and show that you are making attempts to stay employed.

Look for firms that work in your skill expertise, get them out a resume and find out if they charge you for placing you, there are plenty agencies ,like Jobco Staffing Professionals, that don’t.

***ATTENTION COACHING SESSIONS AVAILABLE!Coaching is available through any combination of in-person, telephone, or email support. Are you prepared to navigate the current job market? If you would like to increase your chances and give yourself a real chance to win the next position. I have developed a simple easy to use and affordable product http://www.mypocketapplication.com/Email me, or call Dennis Scherer for more information!630-571-6025